Change is the only constant in life, and that is the only thing I hold on to.’ I first wrote that line during my angsty time of being fifteen, but it was, and is, still true. At that time, I was homeless, locked away in a youth shelter after being abandoned by my father and left to fend for myself with other kids who were there for being drug dealers or molestation victims and where all the sharp objects were locked away in a filing cabinet. I wasn’t supposed to be there.
I was my own best friend during the time I spent in my rock bottom, and writing was my solace. I trusted no one, with obvious good reasons, and writing was my only way of staying sane. How else was I supposed to cope with the fact that I was unloved by the man whose blood I shared and a hundred miles away from the only friends I had? At the time, I was pulled out of school, and with all that free time I was left to think, and thinking can be extremely dangerous if you’re not careful.
So I wrote, and I waited for my thirty days to expire to be kicked out of the youth shelter. I was waiting for a foster family to show up and dictate my life, and eventually, during my waiting, I realized that I could not rely on anyone or anything to always be there, especially when I needed them or it most. This revelation became my life motto; one that I still hold on to this day. After that, nothing could hurt me unless I let it. Only expecting change lowers your expectations exponentially, which makes life in general mush easier to deal with. Anything bad that happens isn’t that bad, because it’ll be over with soon enough. Anything good is way better than nothing, and appreciation in any good change, no matter how small, is always welcomed to any open heart.
My foster family never came, but I was not disappointed. Instead, I was adopted by my aunt and uncle, and a mere three years later I am here, attending the college of my dreams, completely in love and happy with a man I never could’ve dreamed of, surrounded by supportive friends, and a loving family I never could’ve imagined having back when I was a scared little girl, alone in a corner with nothing but a pen, paper, and a thought that helped me along in this big, unpredictable journey called life.
So I beg you, please keep your mind and heart open to change, and keep your expectations low when going through your own journeys, because the only constant in life is change, and that should be the only thing you hold on to.